Tuisteachta

Likely one of the most important things in anyone's life has to be the family unit. I've been reminded of this time and time again in recent weeks, and only rarely by my biological kin. The truth is, I've adapted over the years to not rely on my blood-relatives very much, be it through personal distance or just knowing that we don't always see eye to eye on some things. Instead, I've come to rely on close friends that are very much as important to me as family; these are the people that understand me, and that I identify with. By no means should this denigrate how important parts of my biological family are to me; that bond is undeniable. These are the people that I know have my back when need be, and that I'd go to bat for without hesitation, without any obligation to do so on either part. It's a different kind of connection; family is bound by blood and to an extent by obligation, but friendships like these are voluntary, a bond of affinity and comfort.

What stands out to me as most significant is that such connections are often surprisingly easy to form when you find like minded people. It feels natural to be close to certain individuals, like you simply belong by their side. They truly are a family of affinity -- a tuisteachta in Irish-Gaelic -- and can be the most meaningful bond you will ever find.  I consider myself greatly blessed with my tuisteachta, a group that has grown to include many more than I ever thought possible in my cynical youth.  I detached myself from others in those days, only keeping a small number of friends and even then keeping my genuine self guarded.  But now?  I have people that I can lower my guard around without any sort of pretense and just simply relax.  That is such an incredibly powerful thing, in all its simplicity, and something that is almost a decade in the making.  This tuisteachta began with a very small handful of people known only through the internet, but has since grown in my time at college.

They keep me grounded.  They're a diverse lot.  Intellectually, they run the gamut from average to brilliant, and their chosen fields of study are all over the map.  Spiritually, they include everything from Christians, to atheists, to my fellow pagans.  Morally, however, is where we find some common ground; there is not one among them that I would question in morals, whether I always agree with them or not.  My tuisteachta is full of reliable, dependable, upfront and honest friends that know exactly where we stand, whether it is spoken or not.  It's hard to get a big head and drift off-course when you've got people anchoring you from all angles.  It's also hard to forget what's important, and get dragged off into idle thought on trivial things when you have reason to be reminded that there are non-trivial matters that need to be tended to.

Spiritually, it's this tuisteachta that keeps me motivated and focused on becoming a better person.  They give me something to strive for; to be the best support that I can be for them in exchange for their support of me.  They challenge me to find certainty in my beliefs and in my thinking, and present alternative views for me to reference when making choices.  This is what it's all about.  This is a unique sort of kinship, one that I would not sacrifice for anything.  They know who they are, and they know what they mean to me, or at least I hope that they do.